I know what love is…

Walking a long windy country road with my wife afforded me the opportunity to realize I know what love is.

Let me explain with a story… As we strolled along — a soft lavender butterfly flitted by. We walked more — and it became apparent that this little guy wasn’t going anymore. He (and I am making some huge assumptions here) appeared content to circle Nicole as we continued to follow the gravel path unwinding before us. Forward and more, Nicole began to comment on the lasting persistence of our purple phriend. It began to seem very much like this little butterfly was indeed following Nicole. He would disappear only to reappear just as you thought to yourself ‘Ok, he must be gone” — but at that very moment there he is! Flitting along, tracing the most random of guidelines.

Then something indescribable hit me. Struck is probably a more accurate term. A thought. A single thought — pushing others aside to remain completely alone. Weird in its singularity.

Aren't we cute…

I blurt it out. Without really thinking…

“You know — that’s how I know.”

Hold for dramatic beat.

“cause when I see you — after you’ve been gone — it happens every time.”

I let her in this time…

“what does?” she asks, not really sure where this is all leading… but I do. And all I can think is… aha. gotcha!

“I see ‘em. Butterflies. rainbows and shit. behind you. All that shit. Now I know. I finally have my answer. I know what love is… Its all butterflies and shit.”

I let her take it all in… her perception the budding flower I was so eloquently fertilizing. Let’s be honest here; it may sound like a load of steamy, fluffy crap and it is… But it is really the best kind. The kind where the unspoken exists.

That is what, exactly? Glad you asked. Its a certain place where she thinks to herself…  ‘I know he is slinging it deep but he seems sincere. That’s cute. I’ll keep him.’

I see it the though flash across her eyes, she doesn’t want me to know… but I do. And that’s when I know. I know I got her… but more importantly – I know what love is.

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• 26 May 2009 -- Peter Straub’s Special Dark Beer